Eternal Spring [album]

Redemption*

I can’t let you walk into the fire

I can’t let you be sex-paranoid

And you turn it around 

I can’t let you see me under the skin

And the civilized world at night it just slips away

We see the young man as beautiful, disturbed animal 

So full of love it’s defenseless

Against the cruel world, against your world, against your world

Oh it just slips away

I can’t let you be somebody’s baby

The fear used to sleep at night under the stars

And you can’t see me naked

I feel like I’m pushing, but into the dark 

And the civilized world at night it just slips away, finally naked

We see the young man as beautiful, disturbed animal 

So full of love it’s defenseless

Against the cruel world, against your world, against your world

Oh it just slips away

Redemption…

*Note: The phrase “we see the young man as beautiful disturbed animal, so full of love it’s defenseless” is taken from a review of James Dean’s performance in East of Eden, printed at the time of the film’s release. I am currently trying to track down the journalist’s name. 

Wilderness of the Heart

Loneliness it cuts like a knife when you’re out on the weekend

Poetry and lust in the shadow of love, is there something to prove?

You try and kiss the saints with sad songs, sing another tune

Something strong and sweet just to get me through the night

I have a fantasy of waking up, sometimes kids they can’t get enough

In this wilderness of the heart, would you go somewhere better, somewhere easy

And I was confused by those hours in the holy church

What do I stand, do I stand for? Am I clean or am I wicked? 

But the look in his eyes, it was real as the solid ground

As I felt his love for her, I was touching faith in the back of my mind

I have a fantasy of waking up, sometimes kids they can’t get enough

In this wilderness of the heart, would you go somewhere better, somewhere easy

Restless when you leave me here, there’s a war inside I cannot reveal

Are we innocent from the start to walk this road to freedom, wilderness of the heart?

Without your love I’m nowhere at all, without your love

Did I dream you into being or did you chase me across time? 

Believe the fantasies of waking up, I love you still but I’ve had enough

In this wilderness of the heart I have gone somewhere better, somewhere easy

Vanish when we leave it here, life it moves because love gets real

Can I free your pain with my words in this world unspoken, wilderness of the heart? 

Rush

Rock and roll routine, without you and me

There’s just nothing to compare

Big city nights, bet you you shine bright

Cruising up and down the drive

And I want you to know the birds were singing for you now

And I want you to see the silence slipped into the scene

Movies on the screen…

And in this freedom rush, this final touch 

I dreamed since I was young we could still be rebels

To be dancing on the edge of this eden afterworld 

Sometimes rebel I think about the fall, I just can’t let it go

There’s no freedom in this life

There’s no freedom in what comes after life

I saw you in a dream, you got your little scene 

Just like you did here on Earth

The vagabond hero now, what do they know anyhow? 

They just see you as someone they can’t touch

And I want you to know the birds were singing for you now

And I want you to see the silence slipped into the scene

Movies on the screen…

And in this freedom rush, this final touch 

I dreamed since I was young we could still be rebels

To be dancing on the edge of this eden afterworld 

Sometimes rebel I think about the fall, I just gotta let it go

There’s real freedom in this life

There’s real freedom in what comes after life

I loved you in a dream, oh that’s the thing

Why did you have to leave me in the dark 

Holding my broken heart

With the memory so far away? 

And in this freedom rush, this final touch

I dreamed since I was young we could still be rebels 

Eternal Spring

Well I guess you make me laugh

Make me cover my mouth in silence 

Every time you talk

When I was young I wouldn’t stop

And don’t you need a promise

Or a story to defend?

I wouldn’t change you in the end

And I try to tell you but the words don’t come, Oh I

Try to tell you but the words don’t come…

Baby I love you but you’re breaking my heart

As your wild youth plays out on the radio

I don’t know what you want me to be

Is this vicious war or are we playing games now?

Run back to the house

Everything single night in my dreams 

I go back to the place

I put this question on my face

And just like you

I’ve tried and I’ve tried it for years

I can’t play the normal game

I get a fever just the same, oh and I just

I feel emotion but it sometimes slides away, I

See emotion from you…

Your eternal spring is falling from your arms

As you look at me with eyes to young to believe

Death it comes and then innocence it goes

Is this really hate or are we playing games? 

It feels like love, it ain’t nothing but the blues

Oh it’s freedom and it’s pain, baby it’s everything

A world to the dogs or just a beautiful release

Is this really love or are we playing games now?

You know I want you more than I need you now

Maybe that’s good somehow, maybe that’s how we get by

In the 21st century without love dragging us down

I said release me I want you but you’re breaking my heart

As your beautiful song plays out through my tears

In a world to the dogs I need a beautiful release

Is this really love or are we playing games now?

Don’t you know that I’m in love with you baby

And I can’t afford to lose you

I can’t afford this freedom in my world

Tell me love, were there days when you knew that this could be something?

And I promise you that I don’t see only shadows

But I’m aching for a reason 

I’m aching for the freedom from the asking, “please” 

Tell me love, were there days when you knew that there could be more to life than this? 

The Fool

When the night is broken 

And the bad kid comes home

Beat your wings under cover of dark

And the cigarettes they catch on like a fire

And you make me feel empty 

From your side of the bed

Baby I don’t wanna hurt you

I just want you back into my hands

Baby I’ll play the fool

If your heart wants me to 

‘Cause I’m not afraid of losing right now

I’m afraid of losing you

Yeah you stand outside me

But you changed me somehow

The bitter taste, I think it’s real love

But it’s nothing I can’t live without

And yeah I wanted

A little piece of the world

We lose ourselves in this circus of the living 

But I want to, I need to somehow

Chorus 

New Style

We try all new faces in the morning

We see all the phantoms coming out

We see all new faces in the morning

And hear all the brand new sounds

[spoken word poem by Matthias Bitzer]:

“I understand that I will not find what I love in what I do

But I understand that what I do is more necessary than what I love

I understand that the steams I have cut through have cut through me

I have merged and diffused into them”

Remember when you were a young boy

Twisting time upon your fate

Upon the backbone of condition 

Total intrigue, fascination 

Then the future felt like nothing

But inside that nothing, something

Pure conviction always racing

Across your best face, forward facing

And in this modern twist arises 

A new world unchecked, alive in

Liquid sexes, shifting races

Complex mirrors changing faces

And through a backdoor lost in memory

You found a key to time unending

New Style emerging from the thrill

Life never dies, it never will

Revolution

Every single morning I wake up with the feeling

That I raised up the demons in you

But I know it’s not true

They were just there waiting

Like everybody else on Earth I know you’re searching

For the hidden face of God

In the everyday hero

Does it stare back at you

When you look into the mirror or do you feel shame?

Could I really change you? Would I really want to?

The revolution that you gave me 

Was just a brilliant vice and maybe

You’ll be happy for now till the demons come out

And you’re searching my eyes for some more

And you can’t stop getting closer 

You feel the real thing coming over you

In the morning you’ll go ‘cause you let your walls down

Let another one into your life, some savior for the night

Driving back home with a broken heart 

I start to take the moments apart

And see clearly who you are

Or more clearly who you aren’t 

‘Cause I was raised to believe in love

And the promise of the only word

Pouring over me like virgin silk 

I can’t remember how the feeling feels

Tempted by a promise, conflicted by peace

The brotherhood of waking up, the brotherhood of losing sleep

The revolution that you gave me 

Was just a broken heart and maybe

You’ll be happy for now till the demons come out

And you’re searching my eyes for some more

And you can’t stop getting closer 

You feel the real thing coming over you

In the morning you’ll go ‘cause you let your walls down

Let another one into your life, some savior for the night

Savior for the weekend, savior for the night

Savior for the weekend and for the rest of your life

…and if I turn my head I am never looking back…

The revolution that you gave me 

Was just a breaking wave and maybe

You’ll be happy for now till the demons come out

And you’re searching my eyes for some more

No you can’t stop getting closer 

You feel the real thing coming over you

In the morning you’ll go ‘cause you let your walls down

Let another one into your life, some savior for the night

Savior for the night, savior for the night

Some savior for the weekend and for the rest of your life

…you know you stopped me ten seconds from madness

I was walking out the front door whistling a song about love…

Valentino 

Won’t you be my valentine, understanding why you need to need me

Shapeless form from far away, changing in the darkness you get closer

Not like other animals, knowledge of the past, present, future

Watching as your world comes down, crashing on the pavement you get happy

Dancer smells like cigarettes, body heat and the sweat upon the plastic

As you work into my view, and I’m seeing maybe holes come in my logic

It’s my heart it won’t break…

Won’t you be my bodyguard, protect me from the deadbeats in the forest

Won’t you be my fantasy, the rhythm starts with a beat and you get stronger

Someone held in high regard, like the queen or maybe the prince or something better

We will live like fairytales, the rhythm starts with a beat and then gets stronger

It’s my heart it won’t break…

Oh the peace of the nomad, held together by a spit and a prayer

And I wanted to fly, all the birds twisting by, my Valentino 

I can’t chase you anymore

As you looked to the sky saw the light in your eyes, oh what do I know?

I want what everybody wants 

Broken with sin at your door let me in, I’m the wreckage

I can’t be this anymore

I’ll open my arms and I’ll let down my guard, my Valentino 

I want what everybody wants

What does everybody need?

(faith and love)

We need a shelter and a home

What does everybody want?

I need someone I can believe

Oh I will give you everything 

I’d ask for nothing in return

Oh I will give you everything

(a light in the dark)

I’d ask for nothing in return 

Tomorrow, nothing from you tomorrow

For nothing 

Acid & Tender

There goes the neighborhood

There goes the monkey on my back through the streets

An acid and tender love

A highland miracle caught in between 

And how do you do what you do

On the backstreets in trainers with a shaved head, you

You don’t dare come undone under the gun

And you would fly twice, through grace then from this life

A local boy still blooming in transition

All of these years I was living for your love

Release from a shadow in me 

And the English boys they are living on champagne 

I feel so alive but sometimes I feel nothing

All of these years I was living for your love 

That’s release from a shadow, white teeth from a shadow

The food chain of everywhere

As soon as it’s born it’s dead, that’s the deal 

Come out and walk the streets

Come feel the raw energy of the smoke

And how do you do what you do

A hooligan and someone who uses a needle, that’s you

Weaving life under the sun

And you would burn bright through art and through your life

A local boy still blooming in transition

All of these years I was living for your love

Release from a shadow in me

And the English birds they are living on champagne 

I feel so alive but sometimes I feel nothing 

All of these years I was living for your love

That’s release from a shadow, white teeth from a shadow 

And all of this young stuff swimming in your heart

I feel so alive but sometimes I feel nothing 

Kissed by the sun but nothing in between

That’s release from a shadow, white teeth from a shadow 

..what is heaven? A place to wonder, a place inside…

You want proof of God?

You are proof of God

You want proof of God?

You are proof of God

You want proof of love?

You are proof of love 

You want proof of God?

You are proof of God

Ramos Improv Suite

[instrumental]